Sex does sell. But sometimes, it’s a bit of a stretch – especially when promoting dog food or toilet paper.

Here, we look at ads that go out on a limb to link their products to sex.

“Toilet paper & pleasure”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Renova toilet paper

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Going to the bathroom has never been so hot.

Renova specializes in silky toilet paper, priced at $13-$20 for a three-pack. See some of their products here. Though by the looks of Renova’s recent liquidation sale, the economy hasn’t been so kind to high-class bath tissue.

“Join the zero mile high club. / Now doin’ the nasty is anything but. / Detox your home.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Method floor cleaner

WHAT IT’S SAYING: For those times you can’t wait to walk 10 feet into the bedroom, we’ll be there.

While it’s not a complete impossibility, messy floor-sex doesn’t really come to mind when shopping for cleaning products. Kudos, though, for featuring an interracial couple.

“The ultimate attraction.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: BMW

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Just looking at this car will get you off.

Some people might say cars have sex appeal, but this is overkill.

“Adults only”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Nutrecan Senior Dog Food

…Really?

“It’s fun to be scissors!”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Mischief Scissors

Clever, but it seems like an arts & crafts project gone soft-core. Innuendos might be appropriate here, considering the brand name of the product, but why conjure up a statutory teacher-on-student situation?

“Never let their toys die.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Energizer batteries

WHAT IT’S SAYING: If the batteries die, their innocence might too.

Playing the parental fear card, Energizer hopes you’ll believe they can keep your kids out of trouble. But it’s doubtful a pack of double A’s has that kind of power.

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Kiss Cigarettes (Israel) / no English translation available

The Health Ministry of Israel filed a formal complaint against this line of ads. Not for the sexual references, but because “the cigarette-packet figures bear a resemblance to human beings and consequently the images violated the law against the use of human figures in tobacco advertising.” Well, whatever works. [1]

“We’re just as excited as you.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Volvo cars

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Even our cars are aroused at the sight of themselves.

Changing the way we look at the emergency break…

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Noise hair gel

Even he looks a little off-put by this.

“For the little things you’ll forget.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Post-its

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Help remember the little things. You know, like the name of that girl you just slept with.

Think she’ll be mad if you forget her name? Imagine what’ll happen when she peels that paper off her face.

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Apollo Optik Eyewear (Germany)

WHAT IT’S SAYING: You’ve got to see this.

Hitting the near-sighted-voyeur market.

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Jiwani Mens’ Suits

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Our blazers are custom-fit. Also, they’ll help you get laid.

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Cofani Funebri coffins (Italy)

No one can capitalize on necrophilia quite like Cofani Funebri. They’re more famous for their sexy coffin calendars (Miss October seen above), than for the caskets themselves. Success of the kitschy calendar led to lines of coffin key-chains, iPod covers, t-shirts, and more. Click here for examples of their products.

“Becoming a donor is probably your only chance to get inside her.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Organ Donor Foundation (South Africa)

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Having an organ removed is a sexual experience.

Who knew a charity could top the coffin calendars in morbid sexuality?

“Get there faster.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Elite Luxury Car rental

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Rent these cars, and get to your destination faster. And by destination, we mean the prostitute on the corner.

The only thing tying this identity-less woman to a rental car, is the road line running up each one of her legs. Looks like the ad execs were just feeling lazy.

WHAT IT’S SELLING: What Mobile cell phones

Exactly. What mobile?

“Make sure your hair is the second thing he’ll notice about you.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Pantene Pro V hair products (Brazil)

WHAT IT’S SAYING: Your chest is really the only thing he cares about. But after that, your hair should look nice, too.

The text is almost illegible in that small, round, flesh-colored sidebar. But without it, we’d never know what thin link they’ve forged between cleavage and shampoo. It’s a weak excuse to justify cheap methods of grabbing attention.

“Believe it or not, this sweet little thing can keep your record clean and save you money.”

WHAT IT’S SELLING: Beltronics Radar/Laser Detector

No, wait, this is a weak ad with cheap methods of grabbing attention. It makes the Pantene print seem high-brow and logical.

It must be tough for ad executives who sell unsexy products. Fashion and liquor ads have it easy. Most marketing campaigns for batteries or post-it notes go the G-rated route, to match the tameness of the products. But for those few salesmen who want to make that leap, tossing sex or innuendo where it seems out of place, we salute your courage. Now do us a favor, and stop it.

Sources:

Adland Archive

Ads of the World

Coloribus Ad Archives

Ad Sneeze

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 at 4:41 PM and is filed under Sex & Sexism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.